For you, Jammy
It said you had seizre over and over again. The vet couldn't do anything about it. So you died.
I'm still at work by the time I saw the text. It felt unreal for me. Nothing had changed. I even had a great lunch today while you were suffering. How can I be such a bad sister!?
I went to saw you at vet after I came back from work. You had been placed on a table and covered by a paper.
You were not moving at all, although it feel like you still there. You supposed to rise up your head and look back at me just like you used to.
It felt you should kick you leg if I touched them. Still there's no sign that you were going to sit up or stand up for me any longer. I can't touch you, because I'm afarid you're cold and hard. All I had done is sood there, watch you, and say goodbye to you in my heart (ma had ask me to not to do anything to make her cry)
I see you in front of the door of my room.
I see you in our brother's room.
I see you sit beside dad or lie down on the floor.
I see you wondering aound whoever is eating.
I see you asking us to let to you go out to pee.
I see you come up to the front door to welcome whoever is coming home.
You are a sweetheart. Everyone who ever known you would all agree that you are a great dog. The youngest son of my parents.
No more sunraise.
No more running.
No more sniffing.
No more refusing to go to the vet.
No more refusing to go further on trip.
No more waiting for an elevator.
You do know that you are the pride of our family, don't you?
You do know that we love you, even the big brother, don't you?
You do know that althought we had been complainning you pee in the horse, we were just pretending we were mad, don't you?
You do know that we all had cried, don't you?
Sorry I hadn't take you out as often as I should be.
Sorry I hadn't been here for you today.
Sorry I hadn't spend more time with you.
Sorry I hadn't told you I love you everyday.
What I'm gonna to do when dad and ma had gone out to a trip for days without you being home with me?
What I'm gonna to do when I miss you?
What I'm gonna to do when I see people walking their dogs?
What I'm gonna to do when I need to cry or someone to talk to?
Thank you for came into my life. Be here waiting for me to come home when I'm off to university, to the UK, to a date, to shopping, and to work.
I hope there really is a heaven for dogs, because there is where you deserve and where you belong.